Client: Take the prices off of each item.
Me: How will people know how much each item costs?
Client: I don’t want the prices to be the focus of the product.
Me: Isn’t this an online store where people can purchase your products?
Client: No, it’s a gallery where people can purchase my products.
Me: Without knowing the price?
Client: Yes. Also change the header from ‘gallery’ to ‘shop.’
A client who then offered to pay me in haircuts.
Me: Would you like this poster designed in landscape or portrait orientation?
— Literally the entire creative brief my client provided
After sending a brochure layout to a client, the client called me in an absolute tizzy because page three contained “too many widows!”
Me: Okay, let me take a look…
I open the file and can’t find a single “widow” on page three.
Me: You said page three, correct?
Client: Yes! There are too many widows! I can’t stand widows! You need to fix them!
Me: I’m sorry, but…
Client: Too. Many. Widows.
Me: It’s just that I just don’t see any…
Client: At the end of line 3, and line 7, and line 9, and line 22! They’re there!
Me: Oh, you mean the hyphens?
Client: Hyphens, widows, whatever!
Client: In the first proof you sent me, the blue is too dark. Now it’s too light.
Me: Do you have a sample of the blue you would like?
Client: The blue needs to be the colour of the sky on a beach in Turkey.