Clients from Hell

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October 18, 2014

Client: I want you to use this logo, but, just have more letters, you know?

Me: No. I don’t know what you mean. 

Client: Just… more letters. 

October 17, 2014
"What does that have to do with the brand? It looks good but I want it to look more procesorish."
September 24, 2014

Client looking at the perfect circle images on their team page.

Client:  The circles aren’t round enough.

Me: How so?

Client: They aren’t as round as I was expecting.

It took a while to figure out, but they were trying to refer to the size of the circles. 

September 11, 2014

Client: I can’t see Pad If, No InDesign.

At first, I thought English might have not been this client’s native language, so I responded the best I could without being offensive.

Me: I’m sorry, how would you need the files? InDesign isn’t required for anything I send you.

Client: All I’ve gotten is Pad If, I can’t see those without InDesign. Send me the original file, not Pad if.

Me: Um, the original file is InDesign, but I can send you a PDF…oh. I get it now. You meant PDF. You can see PDFs without InDesign, it’s a pretty universal format.

Client: I don’t have an iPad either. Just don’t send me any Pads.

September 08, 2014

Client: I’m not really thrilled with either of these logos. Can you make them look more global?

Me: They both already have globes in them, so I’m not sure what you mean. But I’ll try.

Two rounds later, we’re (miraculously) almost finished.

Client: This is really close, but can you make them more vibrant?

Me: Well, your colors are navy blue and black.

Client: I know, keep the colors, but I don’t know, just make them more vibrant! They’re not vibrant enough!

September 07, 2014
"The blue one is perfect!"

The reply I received to three different proofs, all with blue backgrounds

August 12, 2014

Me: So, what type of logo are you looking for? Something professional, fun, simple, elegant, animated, vectorized…?

Client: Yes.

Me: I’m sorry, but what do you mean by yes?

Client: I want all of those descriptions.

Me: Umm, can you give me more insight on what you are looking for?

Client: I want something professional, but fun. Simple, but elegant. And I am not sure what vectorized means, but it sounds good.

Me: Ok… let’s start with the color scheme. What are the primary colors you want in your logo?

Client: I’m not sure. Just make something good and I’ll know when I see it.

"The arrows aren’t scholarly enough."
August 07, 2014
"Remove some hyphens. Not sure which ones, but you should know."
August 06, 2014
"I’m quite arty so I’m going to be really helpful… I want a Quentin Blake/Downtown Abbey blend with a touch of William Morris"