Me: Your artwork is currently set up using Pantone colors 1815C (Maroon) and 465C (Gold) as embedded in your logo. We print in CMYK, but we can color-match to those colors.
Client: I would prefer to use less angry, non-menstrual colors… but if that’s all you have, then you have my approval.
One of my other clients referred this one to me.
Client: Do you think we can meet?
Me: Sure, I’m available after 6:00pm.
Client: Okay, come by to my house at 5:00pm.
For the record, he lives over an hour away.
Me: I said I’m available after 6:00pm.
Client: Okay, well, why don’t you come to my house at 5:00pm, and then I’ll drive you home.
At this point the whole “come to my house” thing started sounding a little weird to me.
Me: I think we better meet at a middle point, let’s say the coffee shop around the subway station. It’ll have to be after 6:00pm.
Client: Okay, sounds good. I’ll pick you up at the coffee shop and we can come to my house.
Me: Sorry, but I have to ask - why do you want me to come to your house?
Client: … I’ll call you next week to set another meeting.
The client never called me or emailed me again.
Client: We like the animation, but we’re afraid that the female character may make it seem like we’re talking down to women. Could you make it a male character? A male who is goofy but loveable.
Me: Aren’t you afraid that you will be making fun of men?
Client: No, only women seem to ever get offended.
Client: I need it to arouse the customer’s attention.
Me: To be clear, when you say arouse the customer’s attention -
Client: I mean, if they got an erection, the ad is doing its job.
Me: Got it.
I was hired to make a logo for a client’s new fashion label. He always wanted to meet at a place that didn’t have valet parking because his car was “too precious” to leave it in hands of someone else.
I repeatedly met him at a mall. He had me do extra work for his label, but when he collected all of my work, he didn’t pay me for the extra things I did.
Then he refused to pay me for the logo until I accepted to go out with him. I hesitated at first, because I really needed the money, but I firmly said no. He then rescinded his original offer and suggested I would get 50% before the date and then 50% after the date. I obviously said no again*, and told him to keep the money.
After some days, he felt bad for what he did and told me he could only pay me in cash. I saw him, he paid me, and just after handing me the money, he tried to kiss me. He then followed me to my car.
— via a submitter who, unfortunately, didn’t include the photo or any indication of what the photo was for