We would like to try different font that are about the same but might look a bit differentWe would like to try different font that are…
I was doing a commissioned embroidery:
Me: So roughly how big would you like this piece?
Client: Um… About the size of a digestive biscuit?
Yeah, because there’s no better unit of measurement than “snacks.”
We were asked to do an internal video for a large corporate to show how the company wants a dynamic team.
Client: The video definitely can’t showcase any of our people or the office itself. I thought we should have some clips from Martin Luther King, Bill Gates and a couple of other big names.
Me: Ok, so none of your staff are to be in it, understood.
Client: Well there obviously needs to be some of the staff in it, 7-8 at least. I thought you guys were experts!
A local university wanted a logo designed for a new student food outlet selling sandwiches, fruit, salads etc on campus. They sent my agency a mood board to give us an idea of what they were going for. And by “mood board” I mean “a text description of a mood board in list form.” I quote:
Client: - Cast of ‘Glee’ - mix of all people
- Paddy McGuiness
- Road Runner - energy
- Yogi Bear - likes sandwiches
- ‘Friends’ the early years - social space
- Like B&Q, but better
- Jamie Oliver - Grab n go, bish bash bosh, healthy, trusted
- Ronseal - does exactly what it says on the tin
- Aldi adverts - compare two products in a fun way
- Morrsions adverts - supermarket trolley pushed by a celebrity.
Suffice to say, we didn’t submit a design.
Me: What’s your budget?
Client: Our budget is the best we can get for the least amount of money.
I was designing a landing page for a client. After showing him my initial idea:
Client: I like
the direction so far, but we need to keep in mind users do not read things. Do
not make them think!
5 minutes later:
Client: Great, I’ll send over our copywriter in a moment because I really think more copy will push this to the next level.
I was working on a site for a private equity firm that deals in healthy living consumer packaged goods and was asked to change the banner to something “food or healthy living focused.”
First I tried a photo of a lady doing yoga on a cliff:
Client: We want there to be food in it.
So then I tried an image of a fancy smoothie with fruit on top.
Client: That’s LITERALLY food, not what we’re looking for.
I’m still not sure where to find stock photos of “figurative food.”
I’m a designer who specializes in cover artwork. This client was really excited to work with me after seeing with my portfolio, and wanted a cover image for an upcoming project. He wanted a mixed media, “painterly” vibe.
Me: Because of the scope of this cover, it will take at least a full week for me to be able to get you the first version.
Client: That’s fine, take your time no rush. I like your work and we’ll like you to take your time.
Me: Here’s what i’ve come up with please review and let me know if there’s anything you’d like to change
Client: I love the concept and all the sleeves, my only concern is that the guitar used on the front cover is not the right one.
Me: Ok no problem please send me a picture of the exact guitar you want to see on the cover and I’ll make some modifications.
Me: Please send me the exact image of the guitar you’d like me to use.
Client: I’m heading to a gig. I send it to you tomorrow
Day 7, the client finally sends that image.
Client: Here’s the guitar I’d like you to use.
Me: No problem, I’ll get to work.
Me: Please have a look at this updated draft of the front and confirm that this is the right guitar. And I will proceed with the sleeves
Me: Did you get my message from yesterday? I sent you a draft. please confirm that the guitar is the right one.
Client: (sends same image again) Here’s the guitar I want you to use.
Me: Did you get my last two messages and the drafts I sent you? Can you please confirm that this is the right guitar? I need to know before I put in another set of hours into the cover and I can’t take back.
Client: I am sorry but I’m getting frustrated. I’m running out of time and the guitar is still the same.
Me: I’m sorry you to hear that. Did you get the drafts? Please Confirm.
Day 18. Still waiting for response…
Client: Hey can you put these products up?
End of email. No attachments. No follow-ups.
I make audio and video content for in-store displays. I was working with a client who manufactured speakers who wanted audio ad to play on their speaker demo displays in places like target and Best Buy.
Me: The script looks great we will record the voice over tomorrow.
Me: What kind of music do you want under VO?
Client: Uh… how about techno?
I collected four rounds of five “techno” songs.
Client: I hate this music. It sucks. My two year daughter also hates it.
Me: Well that’s really some of the best “techno” out there right now. I’m working with great labels…
Client: I don’t’ care, it’s awful.
Me: …Do you think you could be a little more clear about what you mean by “techno”?
Client: You know… “techno.” Like The Eagles!
Client: Or the Steve Miller band.