Me: “Good afternoon, we’ve noticed that you haven’t paid the entire amount due on your bill.”

Client: ”We haven’t received an invoice.”

Me: ”Then how did a check show up with the invoice number on it in the memo field? We appreciate the timely payment, but it’s about 75 dollars short of the payment due.”

Client: ”You know this is a church group right? We don’t have to pay taxes, and you realize you go to hell for lying, right?”

Me: ”Well if you check the invoice, there is no sales tax applied, but you realize you go to hell for theft too, correct?”