Client: “So, for the logo, we’ll go with those colors we discussed over the phone last night.”

Me: “We never discussed colors.”

Client: “Yes we did. I mentioned the whole teal & plum thing.”

Me: “No, you definitely didn’t.”

Client: “Really? What did we discuss?”

Me: “Mostly, you just discussed how the shape cannot and must not be penis-shaped…”

Client: “…”

Me: “…and how all of your clothes smell like eggs because you made ‘a shitbunch of eggs’.”

Client: “Man, I need to stop drinking so much.”