I’m not a professional graphic designer. I work in a print shop and sometimes do work for friends and acquaintances. Somehow, my bosses found out about this.

Client: We’re thinking of getting new business cards made up. You can do that kind of thing can’t you?

Me: Yeah sure. I charge for it though.

Client: Ha! Nice one.

Me: No, seriously, I charge for it. Even my friends have to pay.

Client: Why?

Me: Because it’s time-consuming. I don’t have much free time, so I charge people for eating in to it.

Client: Well, you can do it here while you’re at work.

Me: I normally charge around £350 for design work. I get paid a little over £7 an hour here. 

Client: That’s a ridiculous amount of money!

Me: I think you’ll find it’s about half the price of what professionals will charge.

Client: £350 for an hours’ work? That’s insane!

Me: I can’t design anything in an hour. I can maybe doodle something for you, but I can’t design it properly in an hour.

Client: I was hoping you could do it in your lunch break.

Me: I’ll be having lunch in my lunch break.

Client: What’s so difficult? It’s only messing around with paint.

Me: Do you mean actual paint or MSPaint?

Client: Either or.