Draw me like one of your Dr. Seuss characters

We run a small illustration company and were hired to work on a one-off children’s book. The project was a disaster from start to finish. After turning in the spec art for the parents that would appear in the book…

Client: This dad is too handsome. We need more of an everyman. More like Edward Norton. We like the mom though. Let’s keep her pretty.

Me: Okay. We can revise the father’s face and send you new specs this weekend.

We sent the revised work and received this reply:

Client: We think he’s not handsome enough.

Me: But you specifically asked us to make him less handsome.

Client: But how would he get a wife who’s so hot?

Me: Would you like us to go back to the original?

Client: He should match the attractiveness of the wife.¬†Why don’t you just make him look like me?