Me: If you want a custom Christmas e-mail template, it’ll take at least two billable hours. 

Client: We don’t want to pay extra. Can’t you just add a snowy background?

Me: It’s a bit more complicated than that. I’m sorry, but I do have to charge by the hour. 

Client: No. Why don’t you spend a couple hours figuring out how we can do this for free.

Me: You want me to sit here for a “couple hours” to figure out a way you can get me to work for a couple of hours for free?