I was creating a billboard for a client that had a trucking school. They sent me a logo, the copy, and a photo of two semi-trucks side by side at a three-quarter view. I created a billboard and sent them a sample.

Client: “The boss doesn’t want both trucks in the billboard. Can you take out the black one in front and just leave the red one in the back?”

Me: “Can you send me a photo with just the red truck?”

Client: “Sorry, that’s the way the photographer photographed them. We don’t have any of the red truck by itself.”

Me: “Can you get me the keys to the red truck?”

Client: “Here’s the final copy.”

Me: “Are you sure this is the copy you want to run with?”

Client: *Angrily* “It’s the final copy! Run with it!”

Me: “If you say so. But just so you know, the copy says, ‘Keep your equipment ruining in top shape.’”

Client: “We both know it is supposed to read, ‘…running in top shape.’ Why would you use the copy if there’s a mistake?”

Me: “‘Final’ usually means final.”

Client: “Well, ‘final’ has a new meaning. Fix it!”

I had a client send me an email asking if I could turn a 35″-by-11″ banner I’d done for them into a small square ad for print. 

Client: “Thanks, but I don’t think you understand. We don’t want it to change at all; we just want you to shrink it into a square. Don’t move anything.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but no matter how small I shrink a rectangle, it won’t turn into a square. If you want a square ad, I can keep the same components but they will have to be re-arranged.”

Client: “We don’t want anything moved. Just the same ad, but a square.”

I sent them the square, with the rectangular ad in the center and two giant white gaps above and below it. Two weeks later (and without a reply from my client), I saw the version I had sent them in a newspaper.

Twice now, a client has loudly complained that he can’t complete his work because he is on a Mac and can’t right-click. I explain to him that if he holds “Control” and clicks simultaneously, it will provide the same options as right-clicking.

These instructions stump him, so I have to go and point out the “Control” key on his laptop. He looks blankly at the keyboard.

Client: *Indignantly* “Obviously, but where is ‘Click’?”

A client approved the final cut of a video, only to rescind his decision and state that he wanted more edits. After a lot of back and forth figuring out what those edits were, he put this at the end of his instructions:

Client: “It is imperative that we have all of this ready to roll by the time of my April Newsletter, which I wanted out by April 10th. So, please expedite this as much as you can.”

The email was sent to us on April 13th.