Client: The VP did a three hour speech that needs to be cut down to 30 minutes and I need a VHS on my desk in a half hour.

Me: I can’t possibly make that deadline. Also, are you sure you don’t want a DVD?

Client: You are so negative! Why can’t you do it? 

Me: I can’t cut down a 3 hour speech in a half an hour. Even if I could it would take me more then 30 minutes to make the VHS and spot check it. It can’t be done.

Client: You always have an excuse. I need that VHS now.

I finished the VHS in four hours. It sat on the clients desk for a week before I received this e-mail:

Received your VHS (late!). Why is this on tape instead of DVD?