I had an icon on a business application that was a rendition of an atom. The CEO says, “I am worried about that icon. You know, because of Iran. People will feel weird because of Iran’s nuclear program.”
Was brought into a meeting with a client that we had done some small time work for. He pulled up a major brand name e-commerce website on his desktop as an example of what he was looking for his upstart clothing business…
Client: If you can just get us a website, pretty much exactly like this, selling maybe 100-150 products at launch and submitted to all the top search engines that would be great!/p>
Me: Ok, what’s your budget?
Client: Well, we can’t pay you in money, but we could pay you in an ownership stake in the company, like stock.
Me: But the company doesn’t exist yet…
Client: It will when you complete the site.
Client: I’m looking for a complete line of custom coffee labels designed for my new line of coffee. Their will be 50 total labels that I need and based on your work and experience you should be able to give a professional estimate. How much do you charge and how long would something like this take?
After lengthy evaluation, proposal and time estimate
Client: That is just ridiculous! Why would I pay anyone that much money and why will it take so long? I’m going to tell everyone that you charge way too much money and that you’re a waste of time.
Me: I’m sorry you feel this way and that’s really all I can offer you at this time.
Client: I’m pretty sure I can hire a High School student to do this for me for $15 an hour.
Me: Please email me your current company logo so I can incorporate it into your website’s header.
Client: Can I fax you the logo instead?
Client: OK, now don’t draw me ugly. Oh, and can we make my nose smaller? I hate my nose. And don’t give me chubby cheeks. And and don’t draw the acne at all. Is that cool?
Me: Sure. Who would you like me to draw instead?
Tagline that my non-profit client is currently really pushing for. I would like to nominate it for Overemphasis of the Year.
“Learning should be for everyone. Everyone.”
We were pitching a potential client on a new website. When we mentioned we would use our photographer for a half-day shoot, he replied “well, I got a Canon Rebel for Christmas and I’m pretty good with it.”
Client: Your tech has been to our office four times and failed to fix the buzzing noise our printer makes. This is totally unacceptable, and we aren’t going to pay until it’s fixed.
I go to their offices and said printer started making a loud buzzing noise. I opened the desk drawer, and found the client’s pager vibrating around in the bottom of the drawer.
We’d like to have you develop a new logo for us. However, there are many things we like and value about our current logo, so is it possible to make it the new version same but different?
Client: We want it classic, yet, contemporary.
Me: Won’t that clash?