I was working as a project engineer in AutoCAD.
Client: Can you send me that draft in Excel?
JPEG is not cool enough.
I worked as an editor for niche magazine whose CEO was a VERY aggressive client. One month, Company X put a promotion in a competitor's magazine instead of ours. No big deal. The CEO considered it a slap in the face and called a huge meeting with all the department heads to discuss.
Client: Shouldn't we stop covering Company X in the magazine? Show them that when they don't work with us, there are consequences.
Me: We have to write about what the readers want to read or it'll hurt sales. There really needs to be a wall between the editorial and the promotions department, like the separation between church and state.
Client: Hm. Yes, I get that, so I have no problem with Company X doing a promotion with our competitor. But I do have a problem that YOU DON'T have a problem with it.
Client: You should be offended. You should have a problem with it.
Me: But... YOU don't have a problem with it.
Me: Can't we just agree with you?
[Editor's note: we don't usually publish retail situations, but this one was pretty danged funny! So - the exception that proves the rule.]
I work in a music store, so generally our customers are pretty chill and easy going. There is, however, the occasional exception.
Around 2:00 P.M., an older man, maybe in his late 60's, comes in wanting to make a return on a book he didn't want.
Customer: I'd like to make a return for credit on this book. I don't want it.
Coworker: Ok, do you have the receipt?
Customer: No. I didn't get it from here. My daughter shipped it to me from Colorado.
Coworker: Unfortunately we cannot make a return because you didn't purchase it from us.
Customer: Well, why not?
I stepped in at this point because I could tell my coworker was getting uncomfortable.
Me: We can't return it and give you credit for it because you didn't buy it from us. (I then proceeded to reiterate our return policy)
At this point, he was getting pretty heated, so my manager had to step in. My manager then told him the exact same thing I did.
Customer: (now yelling) It's merchandise, for heaven's sake! It shouldn't matter where I got it from! I even have you guys a good review on google, and now I might have to rethink that.
As he stormed out, he yelled at my manager:
Customer: Clearly you don't understand basic marketing!
I should mention that my manager has a degree in marketing.
This week’s deal is absurd value for an enormous bundle of elements!
5000 elements equals a TON of tools for your kit. Fonts, textures, backgrounds, illustrations, icons and more. At only $14, this is an incredible value that will pay for itself in no time at all. Seriously, this is a one-stop shop for the professional designer!
Normally every element in this bundle would retail altogether for $3000 but this week only you can get all 5000 fonts, illustrations, photos and more for only $14, or I repeat, with rounding, 100% off.
I used to work for a large company that provided in-house print and design services to other large companies. As part of our contract we would manage their existing brand on their letterhead, business cards, etc. etc., as well as print and maintain stock for a lot of these items
One day I get a call from their brand manager asking me to come to her office. I could tell that she was in one of her bad moods by the tone on the phone.
I got to her office and she is sitting at a table with a stack of letterhead, business cards and envelopes in front of her while holding a cheap plastic ruler in her hand.
Me: How are things going today?
Client: (clearly agitated) The distance between the top of the card and the logo is not the same on all of these cards (as she points to a stack of 500 business cards).
Me: oh sorry, it must have happened while cutting. I will speak with production.
Client: And the thickness of the business card paper is way too thick. This is ridiculous!
Me: I agree, but it’s the exact weight and brand of paper that is specified in your brand standards....
Client: And this letterhead! Look at the size of the logo. It's way too big. Also that huge margin on the left side, this is unacceptable!
Me: Again, I agree, but these are the brand standards that your company paid a very large sum of money for, from a specialized brand agency that you told us to follow. The letterhead was printed using the exact template file that was provided to us by that agency.
Client: I don’t care, you should know better.
I'm running my client's Facebook page. As you may know, Facebook sometimes puts together an ad preview consisting of a combination of info you've entered into your page, including photos, links and contact info. My client saw one of these previews on his personal Facebook feed and proceeded to LOSE HIS SH*T.
Client: WHY DID YOU CREATE THIS AD
Client: THIS IS THE WRONG LINK
Client: SHOULDN'T IT BE "LEARN MORE" INSTEAD OF "GET DIRECTIONS"
Client: WHY ARE YOU DIRECTING VIEWERS TO OUT WAREHOUSE? ARE YOU TRYING TO GET CUSTOMERS TO VISIT OUR WAREHOUSE
Client: FIX THIS MISTAKE
Me: ...That's an ad preview. It's not a real ad. You can tell by the words "Only You Can See This Preview" in bold letters preceding said preview.
Client: *total radio silence*
Did I mention this exchange occurred in a group chat they had created? Like 9 other people witnessed this dumbassery.