Client: I broke something on my website, and I'm mad at you for it.
Me: *visible confusion*
I presented a handful of design concepts to a client.
Client: I don't like those, please try making more concepts.
I provided a handful more concepts.
Client: Nope, more.
Me: You can see according to this visual map I've already presented nearly every option within the constraints you gave me.
Client: Send me more, anyway. And a revision of design number 1.
I sent over another set of concepts.
Client: I like number 1, but I feel like we went in a giant circle and landed back on the original design, so I don't feel comfortable paying for all the hours you billed me.
Me: You led us in a circle, and we worked the hours we worked. That's why we billed you hourly, not per-project, so you'd take the financial hit on things like this, not us.
Client: Well, fine, but I'm not happy about it.
Me: I'd be glad to recommend some other competitors if you're dissatisfied with our work.
They remain a happy client to this day, but on my terms now.
I was doing updates to a site that someone else had designed. The client let me know that he wasn't receiving emails from the forms on his site. I added my email and did a bunch of tests. I was able to receive all the tests I did, so I forwarded a test email to the client.
Me: Did you receive the email I just sent?
Client: No. Nothing.
Me: Did you check your spam folder? I found that your site emails went into my spam.
Client: I checked my spam and found nothing.
After a bit of back and forth still no success. He decided to switch his email to a Gmail account. I updated the email address and did some more tests with the same results.
Me: I've tried everything I can and your emails are sending as I am receiving them. If they are not in your spam folder then perhaps check with your hosting provider and see what they can find.
A bit later I logged into his gmail account to do other work on Analytics and such. I had a hunch that I should just peruse his spam folder. Guess what I found.
If you guessed "every email he said he hadn't received and also proof that he was a liar," you'd be right.
Our company is mostly focused on marketing, but we do provide some simple web hosting for a few clients. Recently, I had this exchange with a client who is a real estate agent.
Client: I hired someone to work on my site, and they said it's not a WordPress site and can't be edited!
Me: Which site were they looking at? You definitely have a WordPress site.
Client: He said he spent hours and hours trying to figure it out, and can't work with this theme. He gave up and wants you to do it.
Me: Ah, ok. So his problem is not that it's not a WordPress site. His problem is that he can't figure out the 4th most popular WP framework in the world. But that's ok, everything has a learning curve. That shouldn't keep him from working on the site. Tell him to send us a task list outlining what he wants and we'll work on an hourly basis.
Client: WHAT? I feel like this should be included with the website.
Me: Your site was built over five years ago. That's like expecting the home builder to do your renos for free. Our rate is $X/hr.
Client: (radio silence)
This week's deal is 99% off the Maestro bundle — over 2000 elements including textures, paintbrushes, illustrations and more!
Sometimes, a designer has to reinvent the wheel. Other times they can pepper reusable assets into original designs to great effect, saving time and money! The elements in this bundle are great, and will spark invention for your next round of designs! I love the storybook feel of the Paper Kingdom kit, as well as the way that Fairy Vector brushes make every illustration look like a vintage lino-print. These tools don't replace your ability — they enhance it. Just look at what's in this bundle and see if your creative juices don't start flowing.
Normally all the elements in this bundle would retail at $1470 — which is a ridiculous price, we can admit it — but at for a limited time the entire bundle is only $9, which is ridulous in the GOOD way.
I am the manager of an in-house design team of four who have been with the organisation for many years.
I recently received an email from another manager:
Manager: I’m trying to design a logo. I can find lots of logo designs online but they want to charge for them which I accept they will want to do. Have we access to any design software inhouse I could use or access please?
I am still trying to compose a polite response...
I was working with an independent film director as a social media strategist. After four months of smooth sailing, all of a sudden she decided to make my life hell. She emailed me several times a day to say she hated my designs, CCing her producers at random even though they had no input on this. She just wanted to embarrass me in front of them.
At first, I did my best to accommodate without question, but nothing I did made any difference.
The situation deteriorated over a week. She hated the colors, the fonts, the graphics but would not say how she wanted them changed.
Until she gave me these directions for an instagram post:
Client: This is what I want: Arial font, "bright ruddy brown" [read: diarrhea] base, lime green accents, a frame border, a corner logo, and a link to the film's website.
I walked her off this ledge... until one night at midnight when she posted this, using the word "sexy" several times in a single caption.
She changed the twitter password, then used the account to make (very) personal tweets and consistently engaged with bots and trolls.
And the cherry on top:
Client: (laughing) Just so you know, sometimes I get drunk and edit your posts.
So much for building my portfolio.
I'm a video producer. My client was known for "inspiring" his staff by yelling at them.
Client: My 10-year old daughter can do what you do! She's got iMovie.
Me: (inside my head) I've got a college degree and 12 years of experience but... let's see her demo reel and see what she's got!
I ended up fired from that place because I was "difficult to work with," which was the best thing that ever happened to me.