When presenting a poster concept for a concert featuring a headlining band with five black men...
Client: We can't have just black people on the poster.
Me: Uh.... well, that's the band.
Client: I know that, but they can't all be black.
We were in the middle of building a website and designing the look and feel so it worked with the clients' corporate identity.
Client: I hate that! Why are you using round edges and that colour blue?
Me: Um, because it reflects your brand identity?
Client: Oh. No, no, ignore that. We hate it. Let's just use the colours of our competitor's brand and keep everything really square like theirs. Actually, can you just copy everything they've done and make the site identical and put our name on it?
I have been working with a client that is representing an up-and-coming band. They wanted to start branding themselves by getting a website. I contacted them about helping them out and was even going to give them a huge discount to have their website in my portfolio. After the client missed the first appointment, we rescheduled to meet again.
After our conversation, I was going to work up a sample and he would get me a check to start working. A few weeks go by and they haven't been able to get me a check.
Six weeks go by, and the client starts out with this:
Client: Hey [my name, misspelled]. I wanted to reach out to you and let you know that I will be sending you photos this weekend. When would we be able to get together again to complete the web page sample?
Me: I have been working on quite a few projects lately and have come up with some estimates and contracts to sign just to cover bases. Let me start by sending you over a quote for services so we can get started again.
I send the estimate over and stated that I was still going to honor the labor discount I originally offered. The total estimate was under $300 for a great looking website. A week goes by and I hear nothing from him again - so I reach out.
Me: Hey, I wanted to reach out to see if you have any questions. Hopefully, we could move forward on this project.
Client: We have decided to place the website on hold due to finance. Right now that is out of our budget.
Trying to decide whether or not I should just never contact them again if they can't afford something this cheap.
I got a gig directing some videos for online classes. Very simple stuff, one camera filming some talking heads. talking.
The client had approved the script, the art direction, style, casting, etc. Everything was fine.
I delivered the first cut and the client approved everything and gave a lot of compliments.
I sent the final cut and got another call from the client:
Client: Uh... my boss doesn't like it. Can we redo everything?
Me: We can, but you'll have to pay me for the extra work.
At this point, she got very, very upset. Then she called my boss complaining about my attitude.
We have another meeting next week. It's gonna be a very, very long week.
I sold a website to a client. He rejected my offer of doing a free website transfer and said he'd install it himself.
Me: I've sent you the bundled zip file from XXXX Hosting for you to install to your hosting platform.
Client: I use GoDaddy, I can't use zip files from your hosting for GoDaddy zip files.
Me: Here's a link to GoDaddy explaining how zip files are universal.
Client: I don't know why you're making this difficult. You said you would do a free website transfer.
Me: Yes, I'm happy to transfer/install your website free of charge.
Client: I can't give you access to MY hosting account, are you crazy? You need to take care of this and give me zip files that work for GoDaddy.
Me: (Lying through my teeth) Hey okay, I found special software just to create GoDaddy zip files. Upload sent.
Client: Thank you for finally paying attention. I unzipped everything but it doesn't work with my new mySQL files.
Me: You can just use the existing file included in the ZIP.
Client: This is taking too long, you need to install this all for me right away.
Me: I will need your username and password. You can create guest access.
Client: Why didn't YOU tell me about guest access? I can't know everything.
Me: Sure. Anyway, have you created guest access yet?
Client: No, I can't follow GoDaddy's instructions. Here is my username/password so you can log in and create the guest access.
Client: I'm looking for a children's book illustrator. My requirements are 100% non-negotiable:
MUST BE over 40 years old, as we only publish older writers and artists.
PAYMENT is profit share of the sales, just like a large publisher. No advance or work for hire because we are a small press. No fees ever.
The book is a children's book retelling local history through a conversation between a turtle and a local.
Me: It seems to me that you are limiting your options here.
You aren't hiring you are asking for a volunteer or unpaid intern. You would likely get a response from illustrators "working to build their portfolio" but I doubt that person would be over 40. Good luck.