The client wanted a logo design.
I sent 25+ sketches and asked for feedback.
Two days passed without a response. Then:
Client: So...what do what happens now? Do I choose one that you made or wait for you send more? How long will this take?
I sold a website to a client. He rejected my offer of doing a free website transfer and said he'd install it himself.
Me: I've sent you the bundled zip file from XXXX Hosting for you to install to your hosting platform.
Client: I use GoDaddy, I can't use zip files from your hosting for GoDaddy zip files.
Me: Here's a link to GoDaddy explaining how zip files are universal.
Client: I don't know why you're making this difficult. You said you would do a free website transfer.
Me: Yes, I'm happy to transfer/install your website free of charge.
Client: I can't give you access to MY hosting account, are you crazy? You need to take care of this and give me zip files that work for GoDaddy.
Me: (Lying through my teeth) Hey okay, I found special software just to create GoDaddy zip files. Upload sent.
Client: Thank you for finally paying attention. I unzipped everything but it doesn't work with my new mySQL files.
Me: You can just use the existing file included in the ZIP.
Client: This is taking too long, you need to install this all for me right away.
Me: I will need your username and password. You can create guest access.
Client: Why didn't YOU tell me about guest access? I can't know everything.
Me: Sure. Anyway, have you created guest access yet?
Client: No, I can't follow GoDaddy's instructions. Here is my username/password so you can log in and create the guest access.
Make the most of your day! Listen to this episode of the Clients From Hell Podcast!
Get a custom infographic like this one from Easel.ly for only $49!
Not a client from hell exactly, but hopefully relatable.
After four years of freelancing full-time and making a decent living, I thought that I had finally convinced my family that I was gainfully employed.
Then one of them sent me a job advert. For less than I already make.
Client: I'm looking for a children's book illustrator. My requirements are 100% non-negotiable:
- MUST BE "local" to zip code 19968... as you would need to meet with our author.
-
MUST BE over 40 years old, as we only publish older writers and artists.
-
PAYMENT is profit share of the sales, just like a large publisher. No advance or work for hire because we are a small press. No fees ever.
The book is a children's book retelling local history through a conversation between a turtle and a local.
Me: It seems to me that you are limiting your options here.
- You can solve the meeting face to face by using Facetime, Google, or other online video conferencing. As a professional illustrator, I don't know that I would stay in Sussex County Delaware to try and make a go of it.
- Again, if you are looking for an over 40-year-old in the zip code you are limiting the illustrator to, you are going to limit your talent pool. I'm not saying that Sussex County of approximately 10k residents isn't full of incredible talent but you are setting some crazy limits.
- Payment isn't payment at all. You are asking a professional to STOP what they are doing and work 6 - 8 hours a day on anywhere from a 10 to 24 page spread with change orders and IN PERSON conferences with the author for no guarantee of payment. The book could possibly crash and burn and that illustrator would receive a share of .....nothing.
You aren't hiring you are asking for a volunteer or unpaid intern. You would likely get a response from illustrators "working to build their portfolio" but I doubt that person would be over 40. Good luck.
Client: I am not happy with the gradient of the background. People will think we couldn't afford the ink to finish the job.
Me: It is a digital banner. It will never be printed.
Client: I don't see your point. It still looks like it's PRINTED with cheap ink.
Me: (heavy sigh)
I was working as an intern, and the client wanted me to design a board game. I was excited until...
Client: Why haven't you send me the mood boards yet? I thought we were going to work on the next stage?
Me: I actually made the mood boards and sent them several times! I've been waiting for your response.
Client: Well, since you didn't do the mood boards, I put together something myself...
He then pulled out one of the mood boards that I made.
Client: I can't remember where I found these but I think we should start working on a design that corresponds with this mood board.
Needless to say, the rest of the internship was INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING.
So close, but so, so far. Original story here:
Sponsored by Easel.ly!
Animation by Moon Hui (who is a designer at Easel.ly!)
Starring Carly Pokoradi and Cory Thibert
Produced by Kyle Carpenter
I was approached by a potential client to edit pre-shot video for a series of safety training videos for a large multinational company.
After speaking on the phone and two in-person meetings with her I found her to be pushy and aggressive almost to the point of being rude (hey, I'm Canadian) and still not able to get her to agree on a fee structure. We finally agreed on a rate and project summary so I asked her to provide me with the footage.
This is where it went off the rails. She forwarded me to another videographer (that I knew professionally) for the footage. Turns out he had been contracted to shoot and edit the footage by her but retained the masters because she had refused to pay for the work done so far and was in the process of suing her.
I contacted her again and she provided me with "proof" that she had paid him and did have the footage. What she provided to me was a CD with a powerpoint presentation (embedded 120x80 MOV video files) that she was expecting me to "enhance" to HD and master to DVD.
Turns out the "proof" was a fake invoice she did herself using a photocopied letterhead from the other guy.
Me: This footage is unusable. I either need the original
Client: Fine. We can reshoot - but I'm not paying you anything extra. My budget only covers editing.
Me: So you want me to organize a four day, eight location, three crew and two actor shoot of my own dime?
Client: You can recoup costs by selling DVD copies.
Me: Of your company training video?
Client: Yeah.
I noped TF out of there and forwarded the fake invoice to videographer so he knew what he was dealing with.
An older client sat down with me to talk about building a web application and site for his new business. He'd recently retired from his previous career and was kind of braggy about it.
Client: That Cadillac parked out front? My company just gave that to me when I retired.
I didn't really see what that had to do with anything, but okay.
He proceeded to pitch a site in which users would enter all their personal medical information and contact info, which would then be put on a wallet-sized card for emergency uses.
Me: Will this be embedded on a chip or a magstripe?
Client: Oh, no, that's too complicated. I just want them to submit all the information, which I'll send to the guy who does the printing and he'll print it on a card.
Me: Do you have any security for this product? Or encryption?
He gave me a blank look.
Me: Okay, you'll want to redesign some of this since this project almost certainly run afoul of numerous state and federal patient privacy regulations - to say nothing of the security risk of a lost card. I'd suggest you consider encryption, or a card-reading system or something like that.
Client: No, no, no. That's too complicated. I just want to print this all on a card. We don't need to worry about privacy or anything! They own the card!
When I attempted to object, he cut me off.
Client: Do you see that Caddy out front? That means I KNOW what I'm talking about!