Me: I sent an email with some proposed pictures for your website. Which of the images do you like?
Client: I like the second and third one.
Me: Sometimes the order of the images can’t be relied on when viewing emails. Can you tell me the filenames of the images that you liked?
Client: Yes. Both are called 115KB.
"I really like what you have done here, but your design is too consistent."
Client:It’s too green. Make it greener.
Me: What? But… I thought it was too green?
Client: Exactly. Adding a bit more should make it a bit blue. Or yellow. I’m not sure which…
A major client contracted us to organize a conference for 1,500 people. Part of the job involved building a website and a booking platform, but the client was adamant we use a particular third-party ticketing company that had never catered such a large, complex event before.
Concerned the system wasn’t capable or flexible enough to meet the client’s needs, we sent numerous emails highlighting the system’s shortcomings. Each time, our concerns were dismissed. In frustration, we put together a detailed report highlighting the problems we were likely to face, but we were told in no uncertain terms that we had to use the supplier anyway.
When only a handful of tickets were sold several months into a major marketing campaign, there was an emergency meeting between the teams involved, up to and including the CEO of the company.
When the subject of ticketing came up, our client company angrily asked us why were they getting so much negative feedback from people trying to buy tickets. We politely pointed out that all the issues buyers were experiencing were mentioned in our report and that we had said that using that supplier wasn’t a good idea. The CEO’s response?
Client:How could you let us make that mistake?
Oh, and the theme for the conference was “Leadership.”
Client: I need you to make me an ad for my parent’s anniversary.
Me: No problem. What size?
Client: I don’t know. Whatever you want.
Me: Okay, do you have a picture?
Client: Not yet, I’m still deciding on one.
Me: What would you like the ad to say?
Client: I thought I’d leave that up to you.
Me: So, you want an ad, but don’t know the size, you don’t have the ad copy, and you don’t have a picture? I’d love to help, but why don’t you come see me when you have more info.
Client: That would leave it too late! I wanted to make sure you had plenty of time to work with it.
Me: Work with what…?
"All my competitors’ websites have their menus in the same place. Try to make my menu diagonal, starting from the top left of the screen and ending bottom right."
Me: We need a crisp, high-resolution image of your logo for the ad.
Client: OK, sure. Can I fax it to you?
I was put in contact with a guy with a big job for me; I pitched and got the work.
It was a site redesign: I had to set-up the CMS on my own servers for testing then migrate it all over to the production server.
I’ll admit my boundaries weren’t great during the testing phase; he would come to me with different suggestions for doing functionality which I helped out with (it was a big job, but it was early in my career, and I hoped it would give me a lot of exposure).
When it came time to migrate, we had immediate issues. The site worked fine on my servers, but collapsed horribly on theirs.
After a week of trying to get the system to work, culminating in an extremely rude email from my contact, a friend and I got into the code of the site to look at what was going on. An hour later, we had our answer.
They had over 20,000 tags.
Once the tags were deleted, suddenly the site came back up again.
All told, I ended up getting around $5 an hour for the job.