I’m a graphic designer in a print shop. A client came in wanting to self-publish a 700-page novel.
Client: How much would it cost to print millions of copies?
Me: Uh… Okay, well maybe you’d want to start with a smaller quantity and see how those sell first?
Client: This is going to be a big movie someday, so if you have a bulk rate I might as well get that.
Talking to her, it turns out that she does have high level contacts so I start to think maybe she does have a shot at success.
Until I read her writing. It’s HORRIBLE. the text is full of obvious mistakes, there are full paragraphs without a single comma, there are three characters (3!) with the same name, and the whole story is just so confusing!
Me: Have you considered hiring a professional proofreader or editor? After all, you don’t want to pay and print millions of copies of books that are full of errors.
Client: Oh, there’s no worry of that. I studied English in college.
Anyway, she asked me to do the corrections I found to the best of my knowledge and even offered to pay me. I figured why not, signed an agreement, and proceeded to read that thing.
It was worse than I thought. Spelling errors everywhere. She frequently mixed up “their,” “they’re” and “there,” “are” for “our” and once wrote “hors d’oeuvres” as “ordures.” (I guess technically, that was French instead of English). I found so many atrocities in the first chapter it’s unbelievable.
Me: Pardon me, but there are really a lot of errors here. I just read a whole paragraph and couldn’t tell what was going on at all.
Client: Can you even read English?