May 2011
“I need a website that says we’re a perogie company that cares about middle...”
Client: “We’re not so different, you know.” Me: “Oh?” Client: “I did my business degree with a minor in visual art. I was very well-liked. I had a certain eye for details.” Me: “That’s neat. Computer graphics are a little different though.” Client: “I bet the ladies aren’t as wild. Mind you, that was the 70’s. I tell...
While demoing Youtube video-embedding to a client, I entered ‘you…’ on the address-bar, and youporn.com was brought up instead of youtube.com. My typing was fast, but I think we both saw it.
Ghettocelebrity
An email forwarded to me from a potential client, describing his vision for a logo, depicting himself as a super hero (Any grammatical/spelling errors are to be ascribed to the author): “So u already know i wanna be a super hero…..maybe sumin out of a MARVEL comic…rays of power flowin in and out my muscled body!! I should have REALLY THICK EYEBROWS….and 3 razor lines on my left eyebrow (trademark)...
“I want it to be transparent, but I don’t want the background to show...”
“Which way will the website appear in Australia?”
Revision notes for a medical practice’s logo:
“Make the uterus more artsy”
Client: “This isn’t a criticism, but I wanted to point it out.”
Me: “Okay… what’s the problem.”
Client: “This business card you designed for me is upside down.”
“I have another, very important request: my astrologer gave me a specific time....”
“Whenever I have any extra cash, I buy Vitamins, Protein Powder and Graphic...”
Client: “My laptop won’t turn on.”
Me: “It isn’t charged. You have to charge it.”
Client: “I’ve been charging it for 3 hours.”
Me: “With what? Your charger isn’t plugged into the laptop.”
Client: “I’ve been charging it with my iPhone.”
April 2011
Upon reminding a client that she only needs to click once to activate a link, rather than the double clicking she was doing:
Client: “When did you change that? It’s always been double click until today!”
Client: “Can you spell out for me my user name again? I can’t log in.”
Me: “a-d-m-i-n”
Client: “abmim?”
“Can we use the Harry Potter font?”
Me: “We went with the PMS red you saw earlier.”
Client: “That’s disgusting.”
“What do you mean “payment”? You told me you were freelancing?”
“I have a church video I need done. Here is the idea in a nutshell: I will need a...”
“I always hear you guys picking on Arial. Who is this chick? She must be severely...”
“Is there any way of injecting subliminal messages between the pages? Like,...”
Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?” Client: “Is e-mail internet”? Me: “I beg your pardon?” Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?” Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.” Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.” Me: “Well,...
