"I don’t want any sound on the commercial, the text needs to be smaller, and the logo is up for too long. I want this commercial to be like an Easter egg hunt. I want people to have to look for information and search for the logo."
[A few months later we were making a “Going Out of Business” commercial.]
“Unfortunately we do not like any of your logos so we will stop working with. That also means we cannot pay you. We posted the job on designcrowd.com now and are sending you the link in case you want to participate in the contest.”—
I had spent considerable time photographing a local actor for the part of Hamlet using gridded spots to create quite a beautiful moody and dramatic look. The ad runs in the paper with the image looking like it was taken with an on-camera flash. I quickly call the theater and am told by the PR person that “You could only see one half of his face, so I ran it through the “auto-levels” feature in Photoshop before sending it to the newspaper.”
My client regularly downloads thumbnails off of Google Image Search and emails them to me to post on his site.
Me: “I’m sorry but I can’t post these on your site.”
Client: "What? Why not?"
Me: “For one thing, that’s copyright infringement, which is illegal, and for another, these are WAY too small to even be of any use. You need to use your own camera and take photos of your workers, your vehicle, and other things you want on your site, or have someone do it for you.”
[Client proceeds to take pictures of pages in magazines and email the photos to me.]
Me: “…These won’t work either.”
Client: “Why not? You said if I took pictures with my camera, it’d be fine!”
“I’d like you to “fill in the detail” for a 3’ x 2’ foot pencil drawing of me and Jesus riding my Harley out of hell. I’ll sketch it out and then I just need someone to go in there and make it look really really good.”—
Client: “I want you to make a map of the different constellations found in the southern hemisphere. Please include some random stars - around 250 - that blink and which users can click on to donate. I need this done by the end of the week.”
On Thursday evening I receive the following email:
Client: “I’ve changed my mind. Please change the stars to dinosaurs instead. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow afternoon,”
While meeting with the buyer for a major retailer, we were showing them some Noah’s Ark themed stationary items that they had requested. The buyer liked the look of everything. but she had one recommendation:
"Is there any way we can make the orange in the color palette more Christian?"
I was contacted to do a branding project for a client who sold fruit juice locally. He came to my office and presented me with a storyboard of how the introduction animation for his website should run: The first few slides show a banana, pineapple, peach and strawberry happily dancing and cheering as they walk around in circles. About three or four slides in, they all jump into a working blender and their juices splatter all over the screen. The last slide is just their logo slowly fading in. He was dead serious.
I had to drive two hours to a client’s office after she insisted that the logo that I had sent her for print was not the logo that she had initially approved.
We sat down, she opened the jpeg that I sent her a couple of days before, enlarged it to about 500% (to the point that the picture was completely pixelated) and said, “You see, that is what I approved!