Mum: I need a cover designed for my book.
Me: Great! A friend of mine’s a graphic designer. How about you have a look at their stuff and if you like it I can out you in touch with them? What’s your budget? They would usually charge at least £50 for something like that and that’d be mates’ rates.
Mum: I thought I’d offer them a share in the profi-
Me: You absolutely will NOT be doing that!
You’re welcome, world.